welcome to my heart, please have a seat.

Learning is hard. Re-learning is harder. =\

(pls ignore terrible quality and possibly skewed proportions, I tried to scan but the thing didn’t work so I was like f this and took pictures -_-)

lol wtf idk. In addition to the cat, I’ve also realized that in my years of attempting to be artistic and being a self-proclaimed artist, I never actually bothered learning how to draw the foot. (Among many other fundamentals.) I remember in gr.11 I think, I had one of those “sketch a day” goals that I kept up for about a week or two before giving up. (Laziness, lack of inspiration/creativity, school work, etc.) That little exercise was to get me to stop drawing headshots with cliche angles/expressions (and those headshots were anime, not even portraits, so you can imagine how n00b I was.) I think the requirement was down to waist at least, with at least one hand showing. Because yeahhhh I could use improvements in hands. I guess strangely enough that one week or so of scribbling did some good in hands, because I did get better and was much more observant with hands later on. But feet… DX why wasn’t it feet.

lol anyway… the point is now that I’m once again starting to (slowwwly) get back into art, after a 3-year art block, I see so many problems with myself that I used to ignore in all my adolescent pride. I always stayed in my comfort zone and never ventured outside. Even now, I am still within my comfort zone. I only draw slim pretty feminine hands, I only draw expressionless or very little facial muscles involved expressions purdy or otherwise “easy” to draw people — usually girls. If I don’t know what I’m doing then slap some random strokes and colours and call it “speedpaint”. And people! I always draw people. Well, I like drawing people, always have always will kind of thing. And just this subject area alone can have me practising for a few years with the progress I’m making. Don’t even get me started on other equally important aspects, like perspective. Oh god I can’t do perspective. I’ve only really done 2-point perspectives, isn’t that sad? =( Why have I been blinded for so many years as an “artist”? =( I either never received constructive criticism or did but purposely filtered them out. I feel inadequate. =( Please leave the artist-wannabe in her little emo corner for now.

Every work term I seem to obsess about an old hobby. Last term Jan-Apr it was reading, photography and piano, this term seems to be art and web design (though I say web design very lightly lol…) and someee piano. Saddd life but speaking of piano! Yayyy I has 1/5 pages of “Paris in Winter” conquered and had my keyboard owned by the very first bar in “La Campanella” lol fuh. I’ve forgotten like half of “Nocturnes for Clementine” and completely forgot that 5cm/s song (don’t even remember the title), and superrrr rusty at “Melodies of Life” now. Baahhh this is a sad rambly entry.